your own your own kid

 Dear Reader,

    Some people have the ability to simply have their own back and continue through life with the ability to fight for what they believe in. I never have. When I was thinking about my childhood and the way that people treated me, lots of the people aware of the situation said I was brave and so strong. This idea of what strong and brave meant to me, I dont think I have been. When I think of how I let people step on me and destroy my self confidence, I dont think I am brave. I believe that, at the time, I was doing what I could to survive and I dont believe that is the picture of strong. 

    The title of todays print is Your On Your Own Kid and it actually is another one of Taylor’s slays. I think that I am going to continue naming the prints after her songs. They resonate so well with me, and she has been such a huge part of my journey and the reflection of my life and my past.. Hope your okay with that reader!

    So what does this statement of, your on your own kid, mean to me. Well, I do not mean that I didn’t have unconditional support, because I did, but to me it meant the times that those people were not present, your on your own. You have to be able to fight for what you believe in and for yourself. One of the many traits I am trying to strengthen, would be my ability to stick up for myself. I have sat or walked by people in school and been bullied and harassed and simply let them. I have let my own family make comments on my body, over and over, and let them. It’s done. It’s just me for the rest of my life and part of looking after myself is defending my own honour. The second part of this self-reflection is understanding that I have to stick up for myself when I negative self-talk as well. Negative self-talk is the most widely practiced but the biggest waste of time. I catch myself constantly and correct my behaviour and my inner-monologue because it can make or break a day, week, month, or year, of success. 

    I believe that this idea of that you should be your own biggest fan, manifesting, loving unconditionally and validating a body and mind that has carried you this far is such an important part of fitness and health. If your not working on your mind I don’t believe that the two will ever fully be aligned. I had to be conscious of this mindset early on because our body is smarter than we think it is. Your body is never going to release fat, build healthy muscle, and repair at the rate you want it too without the work upstairs. 

    As I have written about previously, I remember the girl that was timid in the face of ridicule. I remember the unbearable hurt I had to go through. I would never look back and tease her for her lack of emotional intelligence because I know she was in survival mode. All I can do now is praise her for getting to a point where now we’re healing and moving through. 

P.S. Notice how I never say move on because I dont believe we ever do fully move on from the trauma and hurt, it just gets a little smaller, so it isn’t all consuming. 

All of this being said, please take care of yourself, dear reader. Love your journey. It’s yours, and its only yours.

Thank you for your time,

See you next time.

And dont forget to love your body through your journey.

Love,

Danielle Speers

@strongwithdanielle